All Things Grow With Love

Today, I am preparing the findings and strategy report for our Cyberbviolence Project. 

Tears are streaming down my face reading some of the stories of victims of cyberviolence. 

We must remember, we must love on both the victim and perpetrator.  As horrific the offence, perpetrators are often victims themselves.

Will You Help Us With Our Cyberviolence Research Project?

The Status of Women Canada recognizes the importance of coming up with strategies to deal with Cyberviolence, particularly against young women and girls.

My company Sweet Spot Marketing is working in partnership with EPWIC - East Prince Women's Information Centre on a two year research project for Prince Edward Island. The goal is to address cyberviolence in PEI, to identify root causes and issues in our province, then work with stakeholders to develop strategies to prevent and eliminate cyberviolence in general, and more specifically against young women  and girls.

Our goal is to include a diverse community to represent different members and publics of our society. We're looking to include both genders, all cultures, race, languages, LGBTQ, etc. because different groups are cyber abused in different ways, and we really want to drill down to find out exactly what is taking place here in PEI so we can create, in partnership with various stakeholders including the public, strategies that will work for PEI.

At the moment, I have one question I would like to ask:

HOW WOULD YOU ANSWER THIS QUESTION .... 

In your opinion, what are the institutional barriers and other factors that limit the efforts of communities to address the issue of cyberviolence in general, and more specifically against young women and girls?

NOTE 1: Please comment below or send me a private message through the blog using the contact form to your right. All ideas/comments are good ideas/comments - there is no need to pass judgement against the opinions of others. Please be respectful and polite with your answers. Any derogatory, mean spirited comments will be deleted.

NOTE 2: Cybervioence is defined as any form of violence that brings harm to an individual deliberately using electronic means (e.g. cyberspace, social media, Internet, texting, etc.) including but not limited to internet luring, cyberstalking, cyberbullying, sexual bullying, sexual exploitation, harassment, defamation, character assassination, and trafficking.

NOTE 3: Thank you for your participation. Please feel free to involve your family and friends - to start having the conversation on how we can prevent and eliminate cyberviolence. Please feel free to share this post with your social networks, encouraging their participation.

Sincerely,
Nancy Beth Guptill &  Andy Lou Somers

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Nancy Beth is an Entrepreneur & Small Business Owner, Founder of Sweet Spot Marketing Canada and a Motivational Speaker for Women & Girl Leadership.

As an Internet and Digital Marketing veteran, Nancy Beth has vast experience in Internet Marketing, Social Media Marketing, Online Safety and Protecting Your Digital Footprint. Since 2010, Nancy Beth has been highly sought after to share her message on being a Digital Leader, using the Internet & Social Media for good, and how to safely navigate the Social Web. 

Keynote Speaker | Executive Coach | Training Consultant | Founder of Sweet Spot Marketing Canada (@sweetmarketing) |(@nbguptill) | Digital Leader | Women & Girl Leadership

To book Nancy Beth for your next event, or to discuss your training needs Visit: http://sweetspotmarketingacademy.ca/contact

How To Protect Your Shadow Footprint - Part 1

[This article written by Nancy Beth Guptill, originally appeared on http://sweetspotmarketingcanada.blogspot.ca in July 2013}

Huh? What are you talking about? What's a Shadow Footprint?

Good Question! With our Social Web, it is important to protect your Digital Shadow because what others say about you online can either boost your image and reputation, or completely destroy it. This holds true regardless of what people say, whether they are talking about you, your brand or your business in a professional or personal manner.

Your Shadow Footprint is defined by what others have to say about you online. This includes pictures, video's, audio recordings and text posts on blogs, social media and internet websites. On the Social Web, your image and reputation is the the sum of Google's Search results.

Most of us have heard the message “Protect Your Digital Footprint”. Your Digital Footprint is defined as anything you put out on the internet and social media sites about yourself. Your Shadow Footprint is content and information that others post and publish about you or your business online.

While you may take the action to be a good Digital Leader, others may not, and what others say and post about you or your company can really hurt your reputation.

Why is it important to protect our Digital & Shadow Footprints?

In our digital world, most people go to the internet as their primary research tool to look things up on Google, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and other search engines. Thinking about our Digital and Shadow Footprints, anything you, or others, put up about you on the internet is searchable and can have more meaning than anything you might include in a proposal, company overview, a resume or application paper.

Here's the thing, even if what is being said about you is not true, when people see things in print they tend to believe it, especially if the content is published on a credible site like an online article on a newspaper's website, or a podcast on a radio station's website.

The reality is our Digital & Shadow Footprints:

• Remain on the Internet Forever

• Are defined as the amount of content that is traceable back to a given individual, brand or company, whether the content is words, photographs, audio, or video … regardless of the publishing source

• Define our social identity, online brand and persona. As an internet user, we create our social identity in online communities, blogs and websites. It is defined through our actions, behaviors and interactions with others. Through our social identity people determine our online personality / persona which defines our online brand. Our online brand and persona is who we are as a person and how others perceive us online.

• Over time, our digital and shadow footprints combined, create our Social Identity

• Can be our new first impression.  By this I mean, people may meet you for the first time online through social media sites or reading about you on a blog or in the news. Think of it this way, you have probably met people online first through reading a news article, through your friends, or by joining an online community, before actually meeting them in-person offline. What they see about you online will create a first impression, and that impression will either be good or otherwise. I am sure many of you have accepted friend requests from people you never met, and did so because they had a positive online image. I am also sure many of you have declined friend requests or blocked people because of their online behavior and negative online image.

• Examples of Digital Footprint: photographs you uploaded to social sites, blog posts, shared video files, posts you wrote as status updates or comments you made on a friend's wall.

• Examples of Digital Shadow: photographs, video's and audio clips your friends or family members post about you as their update status, news articles published on the newspaper or radio station's website

As internet users, we are responsible for our own actions, and we need to be Digital Leaders. We can make a conscious decision to protect our Digital Footprint, as well as the Shadow Footprint of others by being a Digital Leader and a good Cybercitizen. We control what we post and we should not let technology betray us or others.

One of my all time favorite authors and speakers in Digital Marketing is Erik Qualman [@equalman]. When we interact through social media and email, he calls me #OhCanada and I just love it! Erik is the author of Socialnomics and Digital Leader, and he is a strong proponent for Digital Leadership. Two must read books for ANY user of the social web is Socialnomics and Digital Leader by Erik. I strongly encourage you to read both of his books as they are truly insightful.

While we can control our Digital Footprint we have no control over our Shadow Footprint. However, we can … and MUST ... take measures to protect it.

Next week, I will share part two of this two-part blog series. In part two, I will share strategies and tactics on how to actually protect your Shadow Footprint. In the meantime, if you have any questions on part one, please post questions on this blog, or you can post them to my Facebook Page http://www.facebook.com/sweetmarketing

In closing this post, take a moment to watch “A Tale of Two Footprints” by Mr. Sheehy  This video reinforces the content in this post.

                       

A Tale of Two Footprints from Mr. Sheehy on Vimeo.

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Nancy Beth is an Entrepreneur & Small Business Owner, Founder of Sweet Spot Marketing Canada and a Motivational Speaker for Women & Girl Leadership.

• As an Internet and Digital Marketing veteran, Nancy Beth has vast experience in Internet Marketing, Social Media Marketing, Online Safety and Protecting Your Digital Footprint.  Since 2010, Nancy Beth has been highly sought after to share her message on being a Digital Leader, using the Internet & Social Media for good, and how to safely navigate the Social Web. 

  
  

  Keynote Speaker | Executive Coach | Training Consultant | Founder of  Sweet Spot Marketing Canada(@sweetmarketing) |(@nbguptill) | Digital Leader |

   Women & Girl Leadership

Public Discourse, Activism & Avoiding the Spread of Online Hate

I'm attending the "Discourse & Dynamics - Canadian Women as Public Intellectuals" conference.

I've learned that activism means creating a positive dialouge that includes a language that is friendly and comfortable for the publics you are trying to reach ... versus creating an us against them mentality that includes policing & confronting, and becoming a public lynch mob that crucifies others (whether individuals, businesses, organizations or government) when they disagree and don't conform to the activist groups ideals.

Given some of the extreme activism we've seen in Prince Edward Island, its concerning the amount of animosity and hate that's being generated by these activist groups, where they are fostering / cultivating a toxic atmosphere amongst the publics they are engaging. Rather than being a part of the solution, they're creating a major divide that feeds negativity and abuse.

This is being lead by adults which makes it more concerning because many organizations are working with youth to stop the spread of online violence, hate and misinformation that's created by bias.

How do we expect children and youth to behave appropriately online when all around them, there are grown adults fostering online hate against others?

Financial Abuse In Relationships #BeNoble

1. Financial abuse is a common tactic used by abusers to gain power and control in a relationship. The forms of financial abuse may be subtle or overt but in general, include tactics to limit the partner's access to assets or conceal information and accessibility to the family finances.
2. As with other forms of abuse, financial abuse may begin subtly and progress over time. It may even look like love initially as abusers have the capacity to appear very charming and are masterful at manipulation. 

 

Financial abuse, while less commonly understood, is one of the most powerful methods of keeping a survivor trapped in an abusive relationship and deeply diminishes her ability to stay safe after leaving an abusive relationship.   Research indicates that financial abuse is experienced in 98% of abusive relationships  and surveys of survivors reflect that concerns over their ability to provide financially for themselves and their children was one of the top reason for staying in or returning to a battering relationship.  As with all forms of abuse, it occurs across all socio-economic, educational and racial and ethnic groups.

Financial abuse is a common tactic used by abusers to gain power and control in a relationship. The forms of financial abuse may be subtle or overt but in general, include tactics to limit the partner’s access to assets or conceal information and accessibility to the family finances.   Financial abuse along with emotional, physical and sexual abuse, manipulation, intimidation and threats are all intentional tactics used by an abuser aimed at entrapping the partner in the relationship.  

In some abusive relationships, financial abuse is present throughout the relationship and in other cases financial abuse becomes present when the survivor is attempting to leave or has left the relationship.

In other cases, the financial abuse may be much more overt.  Batterers commonly use violence or threats of violence and intimidation to keep the victim from working or having access to the family funds.  Whether subtle or overt, there are common methods that batterers use to gain financial control over their partner.  These include:

• Forbidding the victim to work 
• Sabotaging work or employment opportunities by stalking or harassing the victim at the workplace or causing the victim to lose her job by physically battering prior to important meetings or interviews
• Controlling how all of the money is spent 
• Not allowing the victim access to bank accounts 
• Withholding money or giving “an allowance”
• Not including the victim in investment or banking decisions
• Forbidding the victim from attending job training or advancement opportunities
• Forcing the victim to write bad checks or file fraudulent tax returns
• Running up large amounts of debt on joint accounts
• Refusing to work or contribute to the family income
• Withholding funds for the victim or children to obtain basic needs such as food and medicine
• Hiding assets
• Stealing the victim’s identity, property or inheritance
• Forcing the victim to work in a family business without pay
• Refusing to pay bills and ruining the victims’ credit score
• Forcing the victim to turn over public benefits or threatening to turn the victim in for “cheating or misusing benefits”
• Filing false insurance claims
• Refusing to pay or evading child support or manipulating the court process by drawing it out by hiding or not disclosing assets

This information is an excerpt from National Network From Domestic Violence.  I share this information for benefit of all women who have, or are experiencing, Financial Abuse because it is devastating.  

This is how myself, Megan and Melissa were (and still are for Melissa and I) financially abused by the same abuser.  It is devastating.  While the abuser preserves his finances and spends lavishly on himself, he economically cripples the mothers of his children.  He initially financially and economically abused all of us by credit card abuse, running up bills on joint accounts, and not paying his debt, leaving all three of us to pay what he owes.  Two of us have children with him, so now the abuser continues financial abuse by refusing to provide employment and income information to determine proper child support, refuses to disclose key material information on the value of the home, hides his assets, refuses to pay his debt from racking up credit cards and joint accounts, refuses to provide basic needs for the children, and evading child support and manipulating the court processes. He avoids his financial responsibility to his children, and if it were not for Child Maintenance programs he would completely abdicate his responsibility all together.

I share this information because of the many women who have come through the Live Your Dreams Love Your Life program, and hearing first hand accounts of financial and court abuse and seeing how devastating it is for these women and children. As stated above, in 98% of situations, there are other forms of abuse the women are experiencing. It reminds me of the struggles my daughter and I had to endure during key foundational years of raising her.  I sheltered her from much of what was going on.  She is now 18 years old, in her first year of university, received scholarships and achieved many milestones quite successfully.  I was fortunate enough because I had employment and a supportive family to assist us, many women are less fortunate than I.

Some women are forced to stop working because the cost of daycare for 2+ children is far too expensive for a solo-income household.  While the fathers are out spending lavishly on themselves without the financial responsibility of raising the children, while also being absent parents, the mom`s are left with a heavy burden.  Many of these fathers are healthy minded, out of spite, they simply refuse to properly support their children.  They refuse to cooperate with child maintenance programs by refusing to disclose where they work and how much they earn. 

After seeing in the news that here in Canada in 2014, we have an epidemic of children living in poverty, with 38.9% of these children coming from single mother homes, coupled with seeing the coverage on Three Oaks Senior High needing $10,000 for the Lunch and Breakfast program .... I can no longer be silent on this issue.  I understand the challenges young mothers face as their story is my story.

I understand there are fathers who are struggling with addictions and mental illness so these men fall into a different category and this blog post is not directed at men who need help in these areas. I understand there are many wonderful fathers who take good care of their children on all levels including emotional, financial, physical and spiritual and I commend you for putting your family first and being there for your children. I also understand there are men who are being financially abused themselves and the mothers are taking advantage of their situation. This blog post is not about those fathers, this post is directed at fathers who are of sound mind and body, who consciously make decisions that are self serving and meant to punish and continue their abuse.  Financial and economic abuse is one of the most crippling and is one that severely hurts the children.

In my case, an 18 year battle that includes fallacious / malicious court cases coupled by multiple court cases by child maintenance programs, law enforcement involvement for contempt and failure to comply with court orders, the cost of court proceedings paid by the public purse. There`s a whole other side of cost that tax payers need to consider.  I would really love to know how much his file has cost taxpayers in my home province and his, for being in child maintenance systems since 2003, yet still in excess of $18,000 child support arrears. The salaries of the staff, the salaries of the judges, lawyers and court clerks, the cost of law enforcement, etc.  

I used to get upset with the system, but have come to realize they really are doing their best in trying to deal with these financial abusers who are also con artists, sociopaths, and self-serving pathological liars. Society has unfortunately made it far too easy for fathers like this to abdicate their financial responsibility to their children, and in many cases, there are single mother homes where the mom and children should not be living in poverty.

So now it`s time to act.  It`s time to start positive dialogue on addressing this very real problem and start seeking solutions to help women and children facing Financial abuse and neglect and lifting them out of poverty.  It`s time to  #BeTheChange,  # BeNoble and  #HushNoMore

I Really Miss You Daddy - Can You See Me?

Post by HOT 106.1.

It's been a year daddy. I really really miss you. Mommy said your in a safe place now. In a beautiful place called Heaven. We had your favorite dinner tonight. I ate it all up! Even though I don't like carrots.. I learned how to swim this summer. I can even open my eyes when I'm under water. Can you see me? It's been 5 years daddy. And I'm in 5th grade now. I really like computers. But, math is hard. Mommy lets me sleep in one of your tee shirts. I think it still smells like you. I don't need to sleep with the light on anymore. I try not to cry daddy, but it still hurts. I really miss you daddy. Can you see me? It's been ten years daddy. I started high school. I made the honor roll, I hope you're proud of me. I'm also on the soccer team. Can you see me on the field? I started thinking about colleges. Do you think I could be a doctor? I know you'll be with me when I walk down the isle.. I try not to be sad. But it hurts. I hope you know you're my hero. I love you so much. Can you see me? This is for all the kids who have lost

Hashing Out Our Problems

Hashtivism, or hashtag activism, is the use of hashtags on social media to express and promote a political or social position.  Here's an interesting infographic giving an overview of hashtivism and what to consider when developing your own for your social justice cause.